How to Build Clarity

Have you ever wished everything in life was crystal clear? That you knew exactly what to do exactly when?

Sometimes I do.

And then when I dive down that rabbit hole I realize that’d be terribly boring and I would never become anything bigger, tougher, smarter, stronger.


It sounded so nice.

But while we might not actually desire a magic 8 ball to tell us when to breathe in and out, we do want to feel confident in our decisions.

Here’s the whammy:

HOW YOU FEEL (aka confidence and clarity) IS COMPLETELY UP TO YOU.

I know, I know, the world seems to be so confusing and intimidating, you feelings seem like they MUST be the fault of the evil conspirators and global warming. 


It’s your brain.

Telling you stories.

About those things you see in the world.

For instance: you observe that COVID-19 is a hot topic among your associates. That’s a circumstance. They talk about it every 10 minutes. It’s trackable and prove-able, agreed upon by anyone in the world as truth.

But what you THINK about this circumstance will determine how you FEEL about it.

If you think that COVID-19 is scary, then you’ll feel scared.

If you think that COVID-19 is interesting, then you’ll feel curious.

If you think that you are competent at making decisions and capable of handling anything, you feel confident.

If you think that you’ll make a mistake and that the mistake will be your certain doom, death, and destruction, you’re going to be really hesitant and uncertain about making a decision.

This is awesome to know when it comes to our houses, first because when we generate feelings of clarity and confidence, we’re more easily able to make decisions regarding our homes (like which faucets do I even choose?!?). And even if you don’t end up liking your decision, your confidence and clarity will allow you to embrace that need to change, and you do.

Second, you’ll be able to create an environment where bad decisions aren’t the end of the world. Hear me out. Of course we want to be careful and mindful about our decisions, especially those decisions that affect the people we love and others in general. But if we create a home that is so museum-like in its infallability, where are the failures of people (you, me, our kids, our spouses, our friends, our family) supposed to feel safe?


I get this question allllll the time.

If I’m considering failing all the time with my house choices won’t that bankrupt me?!?!

It’s like my lifelong dieter friends say, “If I allow myself to consider eating all the food, I’ll lever stop?!”


But probably not.

Usually when you feel like you own your choices, you make them on purpose… and listen to yourself.

I think once you listen, you’ll find that you like your preferences!! You’ll like yourself!!

Greg McKeown says in his book “Essentialism” (which I HIGHLY recommend),

“This experience brought me to the liberating realization that while we may not always have control over our options, we always have control over how we choose among them. Have you ever felt stuck because you believed you did not really have a choice? Have you ever felt the stress that comes from simultaneously holding two contradictory beliefs: “I can’t do this” and “I have to do this”? Have you ever given up your power to choose bit by bit until you allowed yourself to blindly follow a path prescribed by another person? If so, you are not alone.” (p. 35)

Mind blown.

Here’s your challenge:

“Take chances!

Make mistakes!

Get messy!”

And have some fun already!

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